The Annoyance of Furries: Witchiebunny

Meet Witchiebunny, a furry who spends an inordinate amount of time defending and being defensive about her indefensible fandom and fellows.

I don't claim to be one that has a lot of common sense, but even I can say that commen sense tells you, if you spend this much time apologizing for, and making excuses for, and explaining your fandom and your hobby/interest, it's probably a bad fandom and a bad interest.

Here's a pointed bit of evidence of that fact. Here, Witchiebunny gives us the old tired explanation that people like Chewfox and Tomcat, who appeared on national TV to declare that furry is without question a fetish thing, are the exceptions and in the minority. "Sex sells! And furry isn't all about that!" Witchie loudly proclaims. Look, Witchie, honey - if you have to have this conversation over, and over, and over and dismiss person upon person from your furry fandumb as being in the minority and an exception to the rule, you eventually give us the impression that they are in fact the majority, for how often you have to engage in damage control.

I'll say that again in the short version, so none of you get any tl;dr out of this. If you have to keep make excuses for weirdo after weirdo from your fandom, over and over again, they are the rule and not the exception. Get the picture, furries?

The thing here is, Witchie seems to be a smart person. She's studying and going to college, she's a good communicator and she writes well. But good underlord she spends a lot of time on a lot of worthless crap and useless people. I can only hope she finally breaks away from the furry losers and applies herself to better things.

Wow, positive thought from such a negative cavern dweller, there, to end on. Oh well - until next time, sunlight users!

Today's Schadenfreude: Murdoch and NewsCorp

Rupert Murdoch takes a torpedo hit as the ongoing controversy over News of the World and criminal activity there forces him to abandon his bid for buying out BSKYB.

I gotta tell you surface people, this has been a great week for lulz for me.

Now a guy like Murdoch, I know, he's not going down, I won't even bother to hope for that. I'll console myself with the fact that he'll be dead soon enough, and then NewsCorp and Fox will disintegrate under the internecine fighting as his heirs tear into each other for control of the company, as all families do.

I think his son's going to take one for the team, though, and it's gonna be taken right in the face. And that is going to be awesome.

You know, it's funny, back in the day we dero's really had to work to get you topsiders all crazy and crap. With stuff like this, with the fact that newspapers and news organizations are all as crooked as the crooks they chase down and try to expose, well, man, this is just one more way that you guys are doing it to yourselves.

Well, until next time, gang, it's back to the underworld for me -

EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM

Ah, the smile a man wears when he knows he's done something very, very wrong.

Today's Dumbass: Barry Ardolf

Meet Barry Ardolf, who's going to be spending the next 18 years taking it in the ass because he trolled someone.

Oh man. I am still laughing about this one. And the bit where he was posting pics like THAT to troll the neighbor? I can totally hear him when the police came to pound on him and drag his ass into lockup - "No, no, man, I'm not into that! This is just for trolling! It's just a joke!" Police officers LOVE that, if my hours of viewing "Cops" are any indication.

This is the future. This is how it's going to be, surface dwelling kids. The more we're on teh Interwebs, the more we lose our sense of responsibility, of consequences; the more inclined we'll become to pull dumbass stunts like this and forget that one day it's all about a cop beating you with a nightstick - prior to your state pen bunkmate beating you in a more, shall we say intimate way.

Well, back to the stygian underground. Enjoy your sunlight, gang!

The Horror of Furries: Richael "Kitteh" Michels

Good day to you, surface dwelling folk; I'm Jonny Dero.

My journal is going to cover many things, but a recurring offering I'll present for your perusal will be matters of abomination and atrocity; being a Detrimental Robot as I am, I find that drawing attention to such things is very helpful in our mission of .. well, I'm not sure WHY we put out vibrations and rays and horrible visions to torment the surface people; we just do. It's a living, I guess.

Anyways! Today's presentation is one about FURRIES. If you don?t know what they are, Google and Wikipedia will be of assistance but steel yourself first, it's not a pretty story.

I submit for your consideration Richael "Kitteh" Michels, furry and full time landwhale who was arrested and sentenced for molesting an underage boy.





Here's a local Denver TV station's report on Michels, which if nothing else is good for the delicious, total feeling of oncoming societal collapse that the anchors give us.

It's utterly amazing to me that while furries are now quite infamous and well known across this country and around the world, this story seems to be one nobody s aware of. You people need to be aware of this, you need to know! Because I'm very sure that this isn't an isolated incident.

Ah, but of course the local furries denied and denounced but doesn't every group of deviants, when one of their own is caught? And I think that's the thing to keep in mind here - this ugly beast is just the one they caught. I'm so sure there are so many other furry offenders who just haven't been found out yet.

Do me a favor, Internet: spread this story around! Get the word out! If the news won't do it, let's do it for them! We need to get the truth out and we need to show everyone the terror that is furries. Those freaky beasts get better every year with spin control and if we don't do something about it, and show everyone the truth of what they do, the next thing you know, YOUR CHILDREN COULD BE FURRIES.

Well, that's all for today, gang. Before I go, let me tell you one part of this story that I just can't get enough of:

"Detectives said they first heard about the case from a tip from the Department of Human Services. The DHS complaint, from Michels' husband, said he was concerned his wife was spending a significant amount of time chatting online with people he didn't know and that she had become involved in the furry lifestyle."

That's right, folks; Michels' husband called DHS - he called the mental health people in Colorado, he called the nuthouse, so to speak - because he thought becoming a furry meant his wife had gone completely insane and needed help. Michels' husband thought that his wife's involvement in the dark, dank world of the furry lifestyle meant that she was mentally ill.

Wow. If only it were that easy. If only we could just call our local mental hospital every time we saw some loser in ears and a tail or a fursuit and have them committed.

Well, back to the stygian caves. Until next time!